motivation
I will admit it: I am not intrinsically motivated as an artist. I will think of something I must do, then do only that for a while, then move back to either doing nothing or making the same things. And maybe this is what it's like to be an artist, or to be an artist with a day job, or a mom, or a mom artist who has a "day job."
I can't say I don't "art" every day. I either consume or create- I read, I doodle, I write for my "day job," I look at art, I play with my kid and we make art together. I read so many picture books. I can't feel too guilty, because life is happening, and I'm participating in it and that takes time and energy. Yet, I feel so guilty because there are so many pieces unfinished, unsold, and in the cache of my brainspace that will need to come out at some point.
I have tried to date stamp by journals/sketchbooks in an attempt to hold myself accountable to make something each day. And that left several blank pages. I admire artists who post their doodles, journal entries, studio spaces, and projects often because it shows that they keep working. I want to keep working. I get bored, sad even, when I don't keep working. And really- how many times can I watch Gilmore Girls?
A fire was lit underneath me today, in the form of a commission. Having an assignment/theme and a deadline is "easy." It will be done, and I will love it. I already love it. I won't say too much about it yet, I want to let the work unfold a little before I give too much away about what it is and where it's going. I plan to document the process, plan to journal about it here nightly, take and post pictures. To be accountable.